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So, yesterday I told you all about my destructive jeans behavior.

Which was a precursor to telling you about having to get some new jeans, because I had none.  Zero.  The very last pair, of any size, busted open this past weekend.

Having no jeans to wear would mean too many instances of tights.  Or certain doom.

So I walked to the Levi’s store on a lunch break this week.

I picked out a pair of jeans, mostly based on the color, and grabbed it in 3 different sizes.  After trying them on, I handed the 2 smaller ones to an enthusiastic fellow named Deon, and told him I was going to take the 3rd pair.

He glances at the label on what I’ve picked, grabs my wrist and says “Oh, no.  These are not for you.  I’m going to find you the right pair.”

You probably know that they’ve got this whole Curve ID thing going on now, where they’ve got 4 different styles of jeans made to fit different body types.  And by different, they mean differing waist to hip ratios.

Deon put his hands on my waist and made me lean from side to side, I think to assess my love handles.
And then he did some measuring business and scurried off to get more appropriate jeans.

He sent me into the dressing room to try several more pairs, insisting that I come out after each one for him to consider.

I was made to turn around so that he and a coworker girl could check out my lumpy rumpus.

I told him that I thought the skinny jeans accentuated my hips too much and he cried with glee “you shouldn’t try to hide your curves!  we should celebrate them!”

Oh, Deon.  Where on earth do you think I could hide all this?

But eventually, I had a pair that was deemed acceptable by all parties.

I think they look pretty much like the first pair that I had picked out myself.  Except that these were a waist size smaller, so that’s nice.

So, the Levi’s Curve ID thing?
They’re not the best. jeans. evar.  But they fit and I’m mostly sure my ass crack is covered.

*sent to me in 2008 by my magical friend, Alysha.  

I keep waiting to formulate a point, before writing something new.  Thusly, it’s been close to two months since my last post and that’s just crusty, Margaret.

So, here are all of the things I’ve had mulling around in my noggin that I could have written about, but didn’t.  Now in handy list format.

1.  2010 in review.  I ran 3 5K’s and a 10K, a feat never attempted by my person previously.  If I were any other blogger in the blogosphere, I would have been sending myself singing telegrams all about how awesome and congratulatory I am because of those races.  But I think they were dreadfully slow, and so I scowl at myself and plan purgatories on the treadmill.

2.  Also, 2010 in review.  There was a dead Maple in this year.  Kind of a big deal.  2011 is looking to be sans cat.

3.  Christmas.  I bought stuff.  And as per usual, once the permission was granted to buy stuff in general, I had a field day.  Presents for other people also means presents for me!  From me!  And so my debtfulness is not quite as minimal as I would have liked.  But back on the bandwagon now!  Woof!

4.  Family.  They made me kind of sadly in the Thanksgiving and Christmas times.  There is joblessness, and not speaking, and cancer and well, more dead cats.  Honestly, I probably wouldn’t blog about this too much… there’s too much history and back story and feelings of guilt and I like to stuff all of those bits into a jar.  With goji berries.

5.  I fit into my snow pants.  But I haven’t worn them in the snow yet.  Similar to #1 in this list, I am very stubborn about feeling glad about this because I am still all self-beat-uppery.

6.  I finished volunteering on my first Taproot project.  It took about 10 months.  It made me a little crazy.  But at times, I felt clever and insightful and worthful.  Those moments were sort of nice.

7.  The pursuit of awesome.  I have been thinking a lot about how people get driven by the belief that they have to do something amazing and end up feeling like they’re kind of failures because they either don’t know how to achieve the awesome or they can’t even figure out what flavor of awesome they’re supposed to be chasing.  Does it push and drive us to feel this way?  Or just end up making us feel crappy about the normal lives we eke out?

8.  Similar to #7, musings about my generation and why we’re so frenzied for success… when our parents were this age, they were poor and struggling.  Now, we’ve got all this disposable income (even those of us my age who have kids) and a sense of entitlement for more.  I deserve a raise!  Give me a promotion!  I want two kids and a successful business of my own and perfect hair!
What happened to us?

So, there’s that.  A list of naked little ideas.  Maybe some of them will get outfitted and fleshed out.

And maybe it is time for frozen yogurt.