And then it just got better…

I feel like a person who almost died, and then someone saved me. He’s my poppet, my sweet boy, The Squeeze.

So I missed a whole month of blogging because I couldn’t find the words to say that I had been at an absolute bottom and then found hope. I was so hungry for hope, but it scares me. Scares me so badly to have any sort of belief that good things could happen.

And even if he doesn’t love me forever, he does love me right now. I met someone who looks like a kid on Christmas morning to be able to wrap his arms around me and have me with him. Honestly, he delights in me. And it’s wonderful and scary.

He does not compliment me the way I had been over the past year. He does not woo me with words. But he worries about whether I’m happy. He bought girl smelling shower gel so that I’d have it in his shower. He volunteered to pick snarls out of my hair. He tells me that he’s thankful and proud of me for navigating my way through an afternoon with his friends. He pitted cherries for me. He cut the end off of a leek when I knew he didn’t think he needed to, just because I said he should. He justs want me to be happy. And so I am.

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