I *get* to snowboarding this weekend. I am borderline mustering tears RIGHT NOW with the pending doom.
I said to Jessica the other day something along the lines of “no matter how much I like being alone, on the couch in my underwear, eating Baked Lays and watching endless episodes of America’s Next Top Model, if I have the choice, I pick to be with him.”
And because it’s true, I pick to go snowboarding. This will be weekend number 3 in my attempt at this endeavor. 4 days of attempt, 3 of which included lessons. And I just fail. The experience is characterized by overwhelming frustration and terror.
But I’m going again. Partly because I believe it just HAS to get better. Even I, the Ambassador of Suckitude, can demonstrate improvement. Probably. If I give up now, then I’ve donated 4 days of horrible just for the pleasure of giving up. There’s a teeny optimist nugget in my brain (which is probably cancerous) that suggests that it will get better and I just have to get through this badness. And the only way to get through it is to keep going until it stops being bad. And maybe that will happen this weekend. It could stop being bad this weekend. Oh god, except I thought this the last weekend…
And because I know it makes David really happy for me to go and I don’t want to fully expose the full blown curmudgeon that I can be.
As this week has gotten closer and closer to Friday, the dread has been looming nigh. I keep closing my eyes and chanting “have a good attitude. *try* to have a good attitude.” And then I think about how my dad has been swiping at me since the age of – 3 that my bad attitude was going to do me in. Well, daddy dear… you were right. Me and my bad attitude are going snowboarding this weekend. How about while I’m at it, I go ahead and slouch, as well?
margaret edith 