birthday thirty-five

I was moping about turning 35, that it was half way to 40.

“No, Maggie,” said Brice. “It’s half way to 70.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Whatever. It’s a milestone on the way to something.

Maybe I would feel just as glum about it if I had done all those life things you’re supposed to have done by now. 35 could still be all boo-hoo even if I did have a for reals career, a kid or two, a mortgage and a partner legally obligated to contend with my oldness.

But I suspect those developmental delays have a bit to do with the feeling of having messed up a bit some how along the way. I turned 35 and I didn’t get it right!

So, I’ve been thinking about my “life list” and trying to identify those things that I really, really want to do before I’m done. The things that could make it feel right.

Weirdly, the things I really, really want are not that exciting at all.

I want to save enough money for retirement.

I want to be a faster runner.

I want to remember to send birthday cards.

I want to be a good aunt.

I want to grow my own basil.

I don’t have a collection of dreams that I’m afraid to shoot for. My life is far from perfect, but I’m not pining for something. There’s a vague pining for the mundane, but big things I feel like I should have done by now. Which is possibly not even pining but actually fear that my friends and cohorts are all leaving me behind.

All those things, the babies-marriage-house-career, they could still happen. I can still figure out if those are all things that I really, really want. I’m not giving up, just because of this 35 business. It’s not a deadline.

It’s a milestone. Halfway to 70.

Which is a very, very, very long time from now.

A lot of things are going to happen before then.

 

 

 

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “birthday thirty-five

  1. You are very fun to read. Be sure to put and keep “funny, entertaining writer” on your list. Everything else will pale in comparison. Happy Birthday, or as my daughter says, “Happy Birfday.” She will soon be 35 and hasn’t lost the fun of being human. She chooses to say “birfday” and when her age doubles in many, many, many years from now, she’ll probably say she;s “sebety-fibe.”

  2. 35 was one of my best years yet…trust me it all gets better!!! Happy Birthday!

  3. I agree with Samantha! And be proud of what you’ve done, not worry that you’re not comparing to other people in the world. Everyone is different, and everyone is on different time schedules, and sometimes you’re just meant to do different things than others!

    I turned 36 this year. That means exactly half my life ago I was finishing High School. If you had told me then that I’d have a PhD and be living in London, I think I would have laughed in your face! It’s funny how the world works and the places life takes us, and embracing it all (good and bad) is a good way to grow and enjoy life!

  4. You are only half way to the awesomeness that will be you at age 70. Considering how awesome you are now, that’s going to be something. If I hadn’t met Chad first, I would marry you right now.

  5. Happy, B lady! Great post, gorgeous photo! See ya in SF soon, yes!

  6. Happy Birthday wishes. You haven’t even reached the height of your beauty yet.

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