Category Archives: The Infinite Melanfolly

Starting Now

I have just been listening to Ingrid Michaelson and I think I may have found my new anthem.

Starting Now
I want to crawl back inside my mother’s womb
I want to shut out all the lights in this room
I want to start fresh, like a baby in a sink
Scrub away all these thoughts that i think of you

So life moves slowly when you’re waiting for it to boil
Feel like i watch from 6 feet under the soil
Still want to hold you and kiss behind your ears
But i re count the countless tears that i lost for you

But before you finally go there’s one thing you should know: That I promise –

Starting now I’ll never know your name
Starting now I’ll never feel the same
Starting now I wish you never came into my world.

I want to crawl back inside my bed of sin
I want to burn the sheets that smell like your skin
Instead I’ll wash them just like kitchen rags with stains
Spinning away every piece that remains of you.

But before you finally go there’s one thing you should know: That I promise –

Starting now I’ll never know your name
Starting now I’ll never feel the same
Starting now I wish you never came into my world.

It’s my world, it’s not ours anymore
It’s my world, it’s not ours anymore

Starting now I’ll never know your name
Starting now I’ll never feel the same
Starting now I wish you never came into my world.

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Infinite Melanfolly

Oh, my sadness is so unique and no one understands me.

Shut up Margaret.

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101

Let it be forever written, that at this given moment, I’ve got 101 more Facebook friends than The Other Woman. Wait. I am The Other Woman. So she is just The Woman? Oh, hells no. Hmm. Adding to list: come up with cleverer nickname to refer to her. I am fond of Haggis.
OK, so anyway, I’ve got 101 more Facebook friends than Haggis does and this fills me with great satisfaction, because I have reached dizzying heights of irrational insanity.

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Jessica’s Rules for Counseling a Heartbroken Friend

Like this list, my friend Jessica goes up to 11.

1. Stuff pockets with tissues

2. Do not say bad things about former partner type person- only listen

3. Provide snacks like pizza and low-fat cheetos and ice cream

4. Do not let friend rip up pictures or destroy mementos, simply put them out of sight

5. Try to make friend laugh

6. Be there when friend needs you, even if it’s during the season finale of your favorite show

7. Pour booze for friend, even if they have already had too much

8. After booze, don’t let friend call former partner type person

9. Also after booze, hold back friend’s hair

10. Give friend really slutty and stupid book about vampires in a hope that it will eek a smile out of them

11. Write stupid lists for friend

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