Category Archives: Fitness and/or Fatness

chubby legs and all

This is my boot.  Specifically, my right boot.

I’m not the first chubby girl to complain of such, but it’s hard to find boots that close over my calves; they’re just too fat.  I still buy boots sometimes, though, and I muscle those zippers up with determination.  I may squeeze my calves into oblivian and I may be left with horrible red indentations. And maybe I flounce around with muffin top calves.  But whatever.  Sometimes I engange in commerce and exchange money for boots.

These particular boots are causing me an awesome bit of pain that I’d like to document here.  So there’s that boot up there.  See the wrinkles around the ankle?  See that crease?  The dent pressing in? Well that little bitch is like a baseball bat that’s been whacking me in the ankle all day long, leaving me with a red evil welt just above my ankle.  If only my calf were just a wee bit thinner, then the boot might be contented to stay up there where it should.  Instead, it tries to be sly and slip down lower, to where the goods are a bit thinner – thus evil creases.

I like them, though, these boots of mine and chances are I will wear them again and the welt gremlin will reappear.  Perhaps he and I should just try to be friends.  I’m going to call him Curtis.

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Paying the $40 monthly fees counts for something?

I
joined a new gym.  In January.  And I have not gone there once.  Not a single time.  I just can’t find a groove for it.  And really, I can’t even find the gumption to even want to find that groove.

My work clock-in time is usually around 8 am.  As early as 7:40, 7:45 most days.  If I get in early enough, then there are still usually enough tickets that I can grab a bunch to do.  If I don’t get this little morning collection, then maybe I find one or two tickets here and there throughout the day, and I probably do a sum total of 10.  And this is how I end up being yelled at for doing shit at my job.  Because I have done shit.  But if I come in early, grab 15, maybe 20 tickets, and then cobble together another 5 to 10 the rest of the day, then I can sneak under the radar as having accomplished a bit of something.

Point being, early morning has become earlier than it used to be and I’m just not sure I can fit in a work out and still get into the office at 7:45.

And after work?  I have SUCH good intentions for after work.  Really.  But it’s 3:52 pm right now.  All I want to do is close my eyes on the couch in my apartment and get under a blanket.  I don’t want to do anything right now.  Not socialize.  Not cook dinner.  I don’t even want to walk the 3/4th of a mile to the bus terminal to get home.  I just want complete and utter collapse.  Working out at the gym, as far as I can tell, is too far away from “complete and utter collapse” and consequently, I just don’t want to do it.

Those are my excuses about why I’m not going to the gym.  Because I’m stubborn and lazy and generally tired.  Sooooo…. so far, the new gym plan has not been working out so great.  Oh, Margaret.  What am I going to do with you?

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Oh dear…

So, it turns out, I’ve gained about 50 pounds in the past year and a half.  Literally 50.  Like the size of a kindergartner.
The only glass-is-half-full factor about this is that at least it isn’t quite the fattest that I’ve ever been.  But give me 10 more pounds.

Pitifully, I don’t feel supremely motivated to correct this.  It was so much damn work to get there in the first place; it’s hard to imagine doing it all over again.

And yet, it was really nice fitting into size 8’s.  I wasn’t slim, but I also wasn’t a fat girl.
What I feel the most is shame that my David met me when I was that other person, and then I turned back into the regular fat version.  Feels a bit like I tricked him.

It was just so much easier to be self punishing when I was in the throes of a horrible relationship, hating him and hating myself.  And Happy Maggie is a Lazy Maggie.  Who likes cheese.

Boo.

And hiss.

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Very early morning curses!

My tired out ass was up in the gym at 6:30 this morning.  But woe is me, no workout clothes were there!
Hence the curses.  As it was very, very early the curses were rather lame.  I.e. Blast!
So then I just went to work and sat down at my desk.  At 7 am.
I’m now starving for lunch.  At 11 am.
But you know who is going to be all kinds of yay about this at 4 pm today?
Me!  That’s who.
Because I will be on my way home a whole hour and a half early on a Friday.

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My conviction is scary

I go to the gym every day. In fact, sometimes twice a day. Because it will fill me with a great sense of awesome, I’m going to list what a perfect week of exercise in the really special realm of Maggie looks like..
Monday: 3 mile treadmill run in the am, kickboxing class at night
Tuesday: Spinning class
Wednesday: 3 mile treadmill run, lunch break weightlifting
Thursday: Spinning class in the am, yoga at night
Friday: 3 mile treadmile run or swimming laps
Saturday: Spinning class, abs class
Sunday: Yoga, Lake Merritt run

I like having this set schedule and that I adhere to it religiously. And when I’m finished, I have done what I am “supposed to do.”

People think it’s crazy that I get up at 5:30 every morning, and I agree, but if I don’t do it, then life gets in the way and then I haven’t accomplished what I should.

And I just need to take a moment to say that life did get in the way: I went out for a birthday gathering at Zeitgeist last night, after going to yoga. This would normally be my bed time, but instead, I drove into the city and got there around 10, 10:15ish. Even more strange, I stayed out pretty late and wasn’t actually going to sleep until 2 or so. There was then some wakage in the night. And yet, I got up at 5:30 and went to the gym. I told myself I would just run one mile and then walk for a while. But I am a bad ass. And I did the whole 3 miles. Rawr.

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This little piggy went to Market aka The Alley

I love The Alley, my weird little neighborhood dive bar. It’s dark and decorated to look like an alley in between buildings. The furnishings are ramshackle (RAMSHACKLE! Why don’t I use this word more often?) testaments to instability. The walls are papered with business cards. So there are no walls. Just business cards.
And then there’s the piano, sing-along aspect of The Alley. Rod Dibble plays the piano and people sit around it and sing. But Rod only does songs from the 30’s to 50’s type era. He can not do Billy Joel’s Piano Man, for example. Instead, it’s a parade of vintage: Fever, I’ve Got the World on a String, Someone to Watch Over Me, The Girl from Ipanema…
Most people go there to belt their shit out. Although there is some supreme badness going on, most singers are giving it there 110% and they mostly sing solo. Old dusty men, middle aged ladies who still think acid wash jeans are ok, girls dolled up with fake eyelashes.
Not only is The Alley weird and fascinating, it’s about .15 miles away from my front door, so I am generally pro-The Alley. So when I had plans to hang out with an old friend from high school last night, this is where I decided to go. I should also mention that this friend is a singing fanatic. He was one of the “show choir people” in my highschool. They went to parties, and instead of talking to other people, they stood around in a circle and they sang. This means that not only was I dork because the cool kids would have naught to do with me, it also means that even the dorks who *would* hang out with me were too busy singing to ever talk to me. Sigh. High school is so weird.
Right.
The whole point of this post was that I needed to confess what I ate last night. And I am doing a very bad job.
I love The Alley Special dinner. It is so grandma kitch. But I did consume with relish (not pickles, but with gusto rather) some absurd number of calories for which I now feel remorseful.
The Alley Special dinner:
An iceberg lettuce “salad” – iceberg lettuce, one half cherry tomato on top, with oceans of blue cheese salad dressing. Comes in an old school wooden salad bowl
Medium-rare steak. Not the size of a deck of cards. Possibly the size of my head.
Baked potato. With a pat of butter and a generous blob of sour cream.
Vegetable medly: broccoli, carrots, zucchini. Prepared god only knows how.
Garlic bread. Overly crunchy. Made garlic flavored with some rank garlic.

Ok, that’s it.
I did go to spinning class this morning, but I’m not sure I counteracted even just the evil, evil so wonderful sour cream.

Goodbye now.

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Filed under Chubby girl, Up to Stuff

Drat

After being rather indulgent at last night’s super decadent dinner *and* eating a bit wantonly at Maker Faire, today was supposed to be paragon of perfection day. Instead, I’ve just had some rather abysmal noshing. Damn. Being tired will get me every time.

Phbbbbt.

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