4.2

<tiny earthquake>

<heads pop up from cubicles all over the place.  like meerkats.>

“Earthquake?”

“Was that an earthquake?”

“To the Twitter!”

“Yes!  It was an earthquake!”

“4.2!”

“In Berkeley!”

My darling little hipster coworker says “I didn’t feel anything!”

And I say “That’s because your pants are too tight.”

<everyone laughs>

<<he does wear really tight pants>>

“You all could be buried in rubble and on fire.  My pants will protect me,” he pouts.

“Oh honey.  You’ll be on fire, too.  You just won’t feel it.  Cause your pants are too tight.”