Have you seen this TED talk from Brittany Gibbons? She’s one of the founders of Curvy Girl Guide, an online magazine that covers all your basic lady magazine fodder, but told from the perspective of regular sized women.
She started this campaign to get women to hate their bodies less by showing off her own body, standing in Times Square in her bathing suit. The video of this talk is breathtaking. Her conviction is contagious and her palpable fear at being on stage makes her seem real and relatable. She’s not some Amazonian plus sized super model lolling about in her knickers telling me that I should believe in my own beauty; she’s a regular lady, being nervous about taking off her clothes in front of strangers.
At the end, she shows photos of other women in their bathing suits. They all saw her on tv, baring it (mostly) all, being brave, and sending this message that she’s ok with how she looks. And I totally teared up. People being inspired by other people is always a tear jerker for me.
I loved everything about it. Almost.
About five and a half minutes in, she says “I’m a mother three times over… I’ve earned ever single curve on my body. And if that’s not sexy, I don’t know what is.”
And I felt annoyed at her. Like she didn’t totally own up to her body, which she did say was the same body she’s had since she was 8. She *earned* every curve by being a mother, which made those curves holy or something, instead of just the ordinary result of too much couch time. No free pass for being fat if you haven’t been a mother? Does she think she wouldn’t be sexy or be less sexy if she hadn’t had children?
I asked her about it, actually, and she graciously responded saying that it took motherhood for her to understand and appreciate her body. Which I get. I think. I’m not really sure how much I can grok that perspective without being a mother myself, but I think I get it.
But still.
I don’t think it matters why you got fat, or why you stay fat, or if you’re working to be less fat.
What other people say or think is irrelevant. Be ok with who you are. Change things that you don’t like if you don’t like them. But you can still be ok along the way. You’re ok if you’re a mom. Or a dad.
I’m ok. You’re ok.
margaret edith 
I didn’t really think anything about her comments about being a mom. I’m not a mom and I didn’t take that as negative, partly because she said she’s had that body since the age of 8. I embrace her for being willing to stand up for the curvy bodies. It was a killer PR campaign for Lands End as well.
Yeah. I think that having kids gives you this myopic view on life. It’s really hard not to view EVERYTHING through the mom lens. Personally, I was fat way before I had kids. I was an overweight kid. My pediatrician told my Mom (who, BTW, is a Registered Dietician) to put me on a diet when I was still in elementary school. I got really fat in college, lost it and was thin in law school. Then got married and happy and got fat again. Then I lost it and was super healthy. Then I got pregnant the first time. Got fat (mostly after having given birth and while I was still nursing), got pregnant again while fat, and then finally when that second one was around three years old I lost it again and that was 3-4 years ago. None of all that fat/thin craziness had anything to do with being a mom. I will, however, blame my “rock in a sock” boobs on having nursed them for a combined six years.
You and I are way more than “OK”.
Caroline, I had no idea that you’d cycled through this several times. You really seem like you’re on a pretty solid path to me now!
Well thanks for spotlighting my talk!
When you brought it up in my comments section, and I answered you, here:
http://barefootfoodie.com/2011/11/20/my-2011-ted-talk/#comment-77031
I was being pretty honest that THAT was my road to acceptance, and only mine. And…I’m kinda allowed. Because we all have our OWN road.
I spoke about how being a mom changed my thoughts on things, because that’s how it happened. For ME.
And, like I stated in my talk, it wasn’t motherhood that changed my body, it was motherhood that changed my mind.
If you have read me for any length, you would know I speak quite candidly about being overweight and bullied about it my entire life.
I think my point here is, I can’t speak for your body or your journey, I just want women to find their voice and some level of love for their bodies.
Honestly, I guess I am shocked that this is what you took away from my talk. It seems counteractive to the movement of supporting women.
P.S. Random point, but It’s Brittany Gibbons, not Britton…though in 1999 when Britney Spears bust on the scene, I would have much preferred that name.
So sorry for the typo in your name! That was definitely a careless mistake.
I definitely took something else away from your talk. I am really impressed by what you’ve done and like I said, I found the talk very moving.
Maybe your exact words didn’t match the sentiment, and I can totally concede that perhaps I read more into the exact wording than what the intended sentiment behind it was.
What I heard in your words was that being a mother made you feel more ok about yourself, when I think the sentiment behind your message is that one should feel ok. Period.
Semantics aside, I can appreciate that this something that you feel passionately about and that it is incredibly personal for you to talk about and certainly taking your clothes off like that is personal! So I absolutely apologize if my criticism rubbed you the wrong way. More than anything, I applaud what you’re doing.