Have you seen this TED talk from Brittany Gibbons? She’s one of the founders of Curvy Girl Guide, an online magazine that covers all your basic lady magazine fodder, but told from the perspective of regular sized women.
She started this campaign to get women to hate their bodies less by showing off her own body, standing in Times Square in her bathing suit. The video of this talk is breathtaking. Her conviction is contagious and her palpable fear at being on stage makes her seem real and relatable. She’s not some Amazonian plus sized super model lolling about in her knickers telling me that I should believe in my own beauty; she’s a regular lady, being nervous about taking off her clothes in front of strangers.
At the end, she shows photos of other women in their bathing suits. They all saw her on tv, baring it (mostly) all, being brave, and sending this message that she’s ok with how she looks. And I totally teared up. People being inspired by other people is always a tear jerker for me.
I loved everything about it. Almost.
About five and a half minutes in, she says “I’m a mother three times over… I’ve earned ever single curve on my body. And if that’s not sexy, I don’t know what is.”
And I felt annoyed at her. Like she didn’t totally own up to her body, which she did say was the same body she’s had since she was 8. She *earned* every curve by being a mother, which made those curves holy or something, instead of just the ordinary result of too much couch time. No free pass for being fat if you haven’t been a mother? Does she think she wouldn’t be sexy or be less sexy if she hadn’t had children?
I asked her about it, actually, and she graciously responded saying that it took motherhood for her to understand and appreciate her body. Which I get. I think. I’m not really sure how much I can grok that perspective without being a mother myself, but I think I get it.
I don’t think it matters why you got fat, or why you stay fat, or if you’re working to be less fat.
What other people say or think is irrelevant. Be ok with who you are. Change things that you don’t like if you don’t like them. But you can still be ok along the way. You’re ok if you’re a mom. Or a dad.
I’m ok. You’re ok.